What causes “unfair” experiences to remain so powerful in our experience?  I’m no psychologist, so I won’t try to answer that question.  However, it’s important to be aware that memories of unfairness and injustice last a long time.  It’s even more important to understand the behavioral effects on those who feel they were treated unfairly.

Economists and psychologists have studied a phenomenon called “strong reciprocity,” classically observed in “The Ultimate Game.”   In this game, two strangers are brought together.  Stranger A is given a sum of money , and instructed to divide it however he sees fit between them.  Stranger B can accept the money, or reject it.  If Stranger B rejects the money, Stranger A loses his money as well.

In a purely rational sense, if Stranger A starts with $100 and keeps $99 (giving $1 to Stranger B), Stranger B should still accept the offer – after all, $1 is more than he had to start with.  However, since this isn’t perceived as “fair” Stranger B will almost always reject that offer, costing both players any winnings.  In fact, any time Stranger A attempts to keep more than 1/2 of the money, Stranger B becomes increasingly likely to reject the offer, to the point that over half of observed real-world subjects rejected offers where the balance exceeded 70/30.

According to James Surowiecki at the New Yorker:

“Essentially, people are willing to pay to punish those they think are free-riding or acting unfairly, even when doing so brings them no material benefits.”

Even though in EVERY case both parties win, the feeling of injustice causes the majority of people to cause a lose-lose outcome when the scales are balanced too far in someone else’s favor.  Unfortunately, the same ineffective behavior is seen professionally.

In delivering a service (for a fee), the client expects a certain value.  That value is based on their perception of how effectively the service was performed, and how well the service fulfilled a need.  At times, the balance of perceived value between cost of the service and the actual service delivered shifts too far in favor of the service provider.  When this happens, strong reciprocity by your client (where he will take a loss to penalize you for being unfair) can unmake the profits from your job  - and even become punitive to a broader degree.  Usually, this behavior isn’t even malicious in intent, but rather a natural behavioral response to a perceived injustice.

John Timmer at Ars Technica says this:

“Within this perspective, the snap judgment is that an offer is unfair. Sometimes, we can engage the post-hoc rationalization, in this case involving the economics of the situation, and override our ethical calculations. But, in a substantial fraction of the cases, we never get the chance, as we act on our snap decisions before that process can occur.”

Basically, as soon as a situation is perceived as unfair, unjust, or in some other way disadvantageous, the natural and immediate tendency is to reciprocate an injustice with injustice.  This is why feedback is so critical to get early in any service relationship.  As soon as a client perceives the balance of value going too far in favor of the provider, he has the opportunity to make his feelings known.  Whether his perceptions are valid will be for you to decide – but being aware of the imbalance lets you adjust, react, and manage the situation towards a win-win.   Without this crucial information, you may find yourself with a client committing resources and increasing his losses simply to make sure you feel the pain too.  Whether this pain is an unpaid invoice, loss of a client, or even a liability claim, it’s often too late to find the win-win.

Remember that kid in 2nd grade that ate two cupcakes at the school party, so you got none?   People don’t forget an injustice, and your clients won’t either.   A client lost tends to stay lost, forever skewed against you and your organization.

Ultimately, no one wants to lose.  Ask for feedback early and often,  adjust when needed to foster a fair outcome, and win-win outcomes are virtually assured.