I’m in the business of feedback, so I replied with some friendly but strong criticism.  I offered it as feedback – information to be processed, with no intent to hurt or offend.  I took time to highlight some of the good points, but spent most of my words identifying problem areas.   The reply I received could have been one of indignation, defensiveness, anger, or any other counter-productive reaction.  Instead, I got probably the best response I could have.

Ouch!  But thank you!

That’s the subject line of the email I received in reply.  What a great response!  In four words, two punctuation marks, and an emoticon this young woman managed to set the entire mood for our (still ongoing) dialog.  She accepted that challenges in her work exist, and acknowledged the effort (and even pain) needed to fix them.  She expressed honest gratitude for identifying issues for her to work on.  She also set a tone of friendly collaboration – probably the most important reaction to have when receiving tough feedback.  Before reading her response, I knew she was open to ideas, and willing to work with me to improve.

I appreciate your feed back and will work on it…

If you still want to help me organize my resume, etc, I am all ears….

Thanks for the insight.  I know you are right, I think I need someone to literally get in my face and prove it, instead of sugar coating it like people have been.

Within the email, she again thanked me for feedback.  Instead of defending why she did things her way, opened the door to further feedback, correction, and adjustment.

Not only has she set a tone of collaboration, but she also diffused any fear or anxiety on my part about giving feedback.  Since I had never met this woman before, it took quite a bit of courage to provide feedback.  I really wanted to help, but also wanted to avoid hurting her feelings, or causing her any more anxiety when she’s already out of work.  Instead, her reply opened the door wide open to mutually honest communication.  What I thought would be a one-time note with some suggestions turned into a week-long exercise to build a great resume.   I have been able to share my opinions openly and without fear of reprisal.

Now, I feel invested in this woman’s success.  I want to be a part of that.  Why?  Because her resume, and by extension, her process of finding a job, is now a part of me and my process.  I feel some ownership of what she’s built, and thus I feel connected by proxy to her eventual employment (and success).

When your clients give you feedback, they earn the same kind of ownership.  Engage a client who has given you feedback with a proactive, collaborative, and kind attitude and you will tend to get more feedback!  As you work with your client to tweak the processes and methods used to deliver services, these revised methods become your clients methods too.  He becomes invested, not just financially, but at a deeper level as well.  No one wants to see their own work or efforts fail.  It’s natural to want to win, to be right, and to succeed.  The more you can adopt processes and methods that match your clients preferences, the more he will want you to succeed.  Your success becomes his success.

Can you imagine a business where all your clients want you to succeed?  Where your clients are your biggest advocates?  Imagine what this attitude shift will bring when it’s time to send invoices, or raise your fee structure, or request a contract addendum for additional services or a change order.  Instead of arm wrestling over details, you have a client engaged with you on a deeper level.  And since he was fundamentally a part of the process that created the need for billings, your ability to recover fair and rewarding compensation is secure.

Ask for feedback!  Then respond openly and engage your clients in the solutions that follow.  Mutual success is not far behind.

As for the resume, it has gone from something that would very quickly hit my recycle bin, to something I would even pass along – not because of her skills or experience, but because of the process she used to improve.  That’s the kind of person I want to work with.

Let me say it again:

When you ask me for feedback, the focus should be me.

The most common mistake we see in feedback programs is that the person asking for feedback mistakenly acts as though HE is more important than the client he’s surveying.   The feedback programs are very ego-centric, rather than client-focused.

Feedback requests should be primarily for the benefit of the person giving feedback.  If there’s nothing in it for them, you won’t get much feedback, and what you do get will not be of good quality.  You also miss a HUGE opportunity to build lasting loyalty and commitment from your client.

So, how does one ask for feedback for the benefit of the person you’re asking?

1. Keep it SHORT. You are taking time from your clients when you ask for feedback.  Show them that you respect their time by not wasting any.  Ask only what you need.  If some feedback collected suggests further attention is required, THEN you can take some more time to discover and respond.  Ask no more than 5-7 questions.  Take no more than 2 minutes.  Respect their time as if it’s your own.
2. Don’t wait until the END. If you collect feedback at the end of a project / service, how is the client helped?  Get feedback EARLY and OFTEN, before the work is done.  The client will know you have a chance to respond, adjust, and deliver the final product in a better way, before it’s too late.
3. Stay FOCUSED. Their feedback tells you about their needs and expectations – so ask questions that bring this to light.  Avoid questions to which the answer gives them no benefit.  ”How do I compare to competitor XYZ” would be a good example of a bad question.  There’s no way to answer in a way that helps me.  Questions such as “How did my responsiveness match your expectations?” lets the client provide course correction – or praise – so you can adjust your responsiveness to a more fitting style, customized for that client.
4. Follow Up. If you ask, and they respond, do something about it.  Let them know how their feedback is going to help you help them.  Responding in a way that returns immediate results will create an ecosystem of constant feedback, adjustment, communication – and long term loyalty.

“So what about me?” you may be asking.  That’s where a system for collecting feedback becomes critical.  Collect feedback in a consistent way, in short doses – but get a LOT of it.  Over time you will build a vast history of performance and effectiveness, from which you can glean countless insights into you, your staff, and your company.

If you want to be client-focused, be sure your client feedback sends the same message!